MISCONCEPTION ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABUSE IS
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The majority of the time, when we discuss relationship abuse, we concentrate on physical and emotional mistreatment. However, up to 90% of domestic violence instances involve financial abuse, or the control of oneâs capacity for acquiring, using, and maintaining money by an intimate partner.
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So why isnât it being discussed?
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For one thing, it might be challenging to identify this silent type of abuse. Small infractions are committed at first, but over time they get larger and more controlling. This can entail a partner requiring you to stop working altogether or insisting they handle finances without consulting you. Although controlling partners donât just restrict your potential to earn money. Additionally, they might prevent you from using âwhatever you havenât paid for, like a car or other needs.â
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Not only is ending a toxic relationship emotionally taxing, but it may also put your life in danger. In actuality, the recovery of an abusive relationship is the most dangerous moment. It can be challenging to think clearly in times of crisis, so making a safety plan in preparation will assist to keep you and your loved ones safe.
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Economic abuse is frequently not acknowledged and, as a result, is not perceived to be a type of abuse. As a result, for some victim-survivors, financial abuse has been ânormalized.â Economic abuse behaviour and methods, such as âeconomic control,â âeconomic exploitive behaviour,â and âeconomic sabotage,â have been utilized in home settings for generations and are considered ânormal.â
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DONâT TOLERATE ANY FORM OF ABUSE
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Letâs be honest: No one likes talking about money and they definitely donât enjoy talking about abuse. Unfortunately, that means many people donât even realize financial abuse is an issue we need to discuss. It also leaves victim-survivors feeling too ashamed to speak up about it. âIn a situation of financial abuse, thereâs a power imbalance in the relationship and somebody is leveraging money and resources to control the other person.â
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You donât have to tolerate abuse since no one deserves it. If you are being subjected to violence and abuse by a spouse, partner or ex-partner, there are a variety of things you may do. None of these, however, will be simple or guarantee an instant or total halt to the abuse. In the end, the goal of the abuser is always the sameâto gain power and control in a relationship.
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A lot of victim-survivors seek out different types of assistance, and before they can finally break away from violence, they may leave and come back multiple times.
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âWhy didnât you leaveâ, for example, is a question that is frequently posed or an alternate question like âWhy did you remain so long?â The easy solution could seem to be to leave if you havenât been in this circumstance yourself. But there are many reasons why victim-survivors continue to live with their abusers, and itâs crucial to understand that leaving an abusive relationship does not necessarily put an end to the abuse (and sometimes, at least for a time, it may get worse).
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Because they still love their abusers, or because they are afraid of the repercussionsâthe abuser may threaten to hurt or even kill his partner or the children if they leaveâ victim-survivors continue to live with their abusers.
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Victim-survivors may be concerned about losing their kids, or they may believe that staying and attempting to save their marriage is better for the kids. âWhere can I go?â can be one of their concerns. âWill I become homeless as a result?â and âWhere will I find the funds if I leave?â are questions that we hear very often. If their partners have cut them off from friends and relatives, they can be concerned about loneliness. Perhaps their self-esteem has been so severely damaged that they donât think they could handle things on their own and lack the courage to go.